


Grandpa Skywalker's Very Effective, Ultra-Modern Dating Advice

by ohgodmyeyes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Advice, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Because I Got High, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Crack, Do Not Follow Anakin's Advice, Family, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Grandparenting, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Humour, Old Anakin, One Shot, Teen Angst, Teen Ben Solo, problematic, stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26906128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohgodmyeyes/pseuds/ohgodmyeyes
Summary: A teenaged Ben Solo asks his loving grandfather for advice concerning matters of the heart.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ben Solo
Comments: 25
Kudos: 23





	Grandpa Skywalker's Very Effective, Ultra-Modern Dating Advice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JustBeStill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustBeStill/gifts).



> for someone who regularly makes me laugh and smile and all of that good stuff <3

Young Ben Solo sulked his way down the stairs, and into his grandfather's basement. Anakin was there, as he often was. Right now, he was sitting at his desk using a tiny screwdriver he held in his left hand to tinker with the advanced myoelectric prosthesis he wore as a replacement for his right. 

"What's the matter?" asked the elder of the two, without even having to look up. He could always tell when his grandson was in a sour mood.

"It's nothing," pouted Ben, and he flopped down in a spare chair.

"It's definitely something," Anakin said, and he put down his tool; looked in the direction of the sullen teenager. "Tell me— maybe I can help."

"No one can help. _Nothing_ can help."

It was all Anakin could do not to roll his eyes. "You didn't come down here for nothing," he pointed out.

"No," admitted Ben, "I guess I didn't."

"Well then what is it?" Anakin turned in his chair to face the boy.

After a moment of hesitation, "It's... a girl."

"A girl?" grinned Anakin. "You mean a girl you _like?"_

Ben only nodded, doing his best not to make eye contact. He felt slightly embarrassed about his issue.

"What's the problem with her? She doesn't like you back?"

With a shrug, "I don't know. I don't _think_ so. I mean, sometimes it feels like she doesn't even know I exist."

"Huh. How could she not notice you?" Anakin asked. "You're only about a million feet tall. She has _seen_ you, hasn't she? This isn't some internet thing, is it?"

"No! No, it's not an 'internet thing'. She goes to my school. I just... I can't stop thinking about her. Do you know what I mean?"

Ben's grandfather couldn't help but laugh at that. "I sure do," he said, thinking fondly of his wife. "I've been in the same place you are right now."

"You mean with grandma?" asked Ben.

"That's exactly what I mean. When I was close to your age, I thought she didn't notice me, either."

"But you married her."

Anakin nodded, and made a valiant effort not to get lost in thoughts of her. "I did," he said, not without a hint of pride.

"Well," ventured Ben, "how did you do it, then? How did you make her see you— make her _like_ you?" He leaned forward in his chair, eager to hear his grandfather's advice. He had always looked up to his grandpa.

With a wry smile, "Do you really want to know?"

"Of course I do! This girl is _beautiful_ — perfect. I don't know what I'll do if I can't at least make her give me a chance." 

"Is she strong? Principled? You know what I've told you about your grandmother."

"She is," said Ben. "She's everything I could ever want, and so much more."

"Well, then you're going to have to be persistent. Persistence is key."

"What do you mean, exactly?"

Anakin looked into the past, and remembered what things had been like between him and his wife when they'd first gotten to know each other. It had been a complicated and stressful time for both of them, but ultimately, he recalled it very fondly. "Be completely and unabashedly overbearing," he finally said. "Don't ever let her forget you exist."

"How can I do that?" Ben tilted his head; he didn't quite understand. 

"Touch her," said Anakin. "Touch her frequently, and without asking. Don't be afraid to stare at her, too."

"What if she says she doesn't like that? What if I make her uncomfortable?"

"All the better. If she's uncomfortable, she won't be able to forget about you, will she?"

"Well... no, I guess not," conceded Ben. "What else?"

"Tell her _constantly_ that you love her; that you can't possibly live without her. If you feel sad or lonely, tell her all about that, too— whether she asks or not. Girls love that stuff."

Ben was somewhat skeptical. "They do?" he asked. "What if she starts to feel sorry for me?"

Anakin laughed. "That's excellent! Girls also love guys they get to take care of. Once, I harassed a wild animal until it tossed me off of its back and stepped on me. Then, I pretended to be dead. Your grandmother couldn't keep her hands off me after that."

 _"Really?"_

"Really. Does this girl you like happen to be seeing any other guys at the moment?"

"I'm not sure," said Ben thoughtfully. "I think so, maybe."

"Well, follow them around. Find out _exactly_ what they're doing together, and if you see anything you don't like, just choke the other guy."

"...Choke him?" asked Ben curiously. "Won't that make her mad?"

Anakin waved his prosthetic hand dismissively. "Only for a while. She'll realize how much she misses you after that, and she'll come running right back."

Ben was starting to feel a bit better, now. The expression on his face having brightened, he asked, "Is there anything else?" 

"Hm... oh! If she _talks_ about any other boys to you, be completely insolent about it until she stops. I promise— she won't mind. And, if she tries to share a nice story with you about something she likes to do, zero in on the _one_ thing you hate about what she enjoys. Then, complain until she kisses you, even if she only does it to make you shut up."

"Oh. Okay, I can _definitely_ do that."

Anakin got up from his seat at that point, walked over to where Ben was sitting, and placed a hand on his shoulder. He loved his grandson, and only ever wanted to give him the best of advice. "The most important thing I can tell you," he said, "is that you should always be yourself— exactly the person you are; no more, and no less. Do you understand?" 

"I think I do," said Ben, looking far happier now than when he'd first moped his way down the stairs and into his grandfather's presence. He felt a renewed sense of capability; of hope. Perhaps, he thought, he might just be able to catch that lovely girl's eye now. His grandpa would never steer him in the wrong direction, and he knew it: Ben trusted Anakin. He always had, and he always would... whether his mother thought he ought to or not.

"So go on," Anakin told the formerly-dejected teenager. "Get out of here, and go show that girl just how persistent you can be!" It had certainly worked for him, after all.

Ben stood up. Looking down at the man he virtually idolized, he smiled and said, "I think I will— and if I see her with _anyone_ else, I'll remember exactly what you told me." With a reverent nod, he turned and practically skipped back up the stairs. 

"Don't forget to touch her," Anakin called after him, "and _be presumptuous!"_

He heard the door upstairs open and shut, and he knew that his grandson had gone off; off to follow his example— off to get that girl. Satisfied with the knowledge that he'd shared the absolute best of his romantic intuition, he sat down once again to resume his work on his right hand. 

Anakin felt incredibly pleased with both himself, and his highly effective grandparenting.

**Author's Note:**

> lol... no.


End file.
